Heavy On My Heart
by TrunkZy
Summary: Artemis is trying to cope with the loss of his father set after 1.book and him not letting anyone close to him is not helping at all. Warnings: slightly angst, oneshot.


**Heavy On My Heart**

Artemis rolled over as he started waking up.

He groaned as he realised the sun had yet to appear.

He hated this.

The raven-haired teenager, crawled out of bed and walked into the shower.

He had only slept for four hours and had yet another major headache coming. The one's that felt like your scull was going to be split in two.

He turned on the water.

Ice cold.

The shock from the waters temperature slowly started to disappear, and he found relief in this cold, eerie morning.

After the shower he got dressed and sat down on his bed.

No reason to wake everyone up this early. Though Butler would most likely be up. He is always up.

Sometimes he wished his father was there with him.

Sometimes was always the hours he left most lonely.

He relinquished in that at least his mother was feeling better.

That didn't mean that _he _was.

He found it quite odd that no matter how much she worried about him, his mother never really figured out what she was worrying about.

It was hard faking a smile when he was falling apart from the inside.

The headache only made his pain more physical.

He liked it better that way.

The whole fairy incident had left him wondering what to do with his life.

And with every day, he wondered a bit more.

Till he fell completely broken.

He finished his shower, drying and dressing himself, not hurrying.

Why should he hurry.

There wasn't really anything to look forward to.

Artemis rubbed his temples.

The headache was back.

He felt as though, he was going to throw up.

That wouldn't be a good idea, since he hadn't eaten in quite a many hours.

He heard a knock on his door.

Artemis allowed for Butler to come in.

The young boy was quite surprised to see who was at the door.

His mother.

She walked in, asking him how he was feeling.

Apparently he was looking paler than usual today.

Her only son told Angeline, that he was fine.

"Just fine, mother. Nothing to worry about."

She could see the hurt in his eyes.

The helplessness.

She couldn't do anything to help him.

Artemis wouldn't let her think there was something wrong.

o

He could see understanding in his mothers eyes.

The worry was still there.

He wondered if she understood what he was going through.

After all, even _he_ didn't know what was going on.

So how on earth could she?

o

She tried to hug him, but he pushed her away.

Angelines' heart ached.

All she wanted to do was help him.

Artemis would join her at breakfast soon.

And after that the boy would isolate himself yet again.

She closed the door after her, and sighed.

Why wouldn't he let her help him?

o

She couldn't help him.

He was to far out to be helped.

The helping hand, would only be bitten off.

Truth be told Artemis was scared.

Maybe his father truly _was _dead.

Was what they all said true?

He stood up, and walked to the window.

Maybe some day he would find that answer.

He wished, he hoped, he prayed that his father would return.

He needed help.

He needed to be rescued.

Artemis was thinking about his father. Or was he?

The fact that the loss of his father wore him out more than the actual task of being the head of the Fowl estate scared him.

Had he really loved that man so much?

He knew the answer.

But that wasn't relevant.

The truth was that, that man never had loved _him_!

Or had he?

All Artemis wanted to do was make his father proud.

All these problems were caused by him.

And there was nothing he could do to change the past.

All he could change was the future.

Even that choice was slowly drifting away from him.

He sighed deeply, as the headache was pounding more furiously.

Turning away from the window he went to join his mother for breakfast.

And to once again assure her that he was fine.

Just fine.

* * *

_Authors Note: Falling into yet another depression. So Artemis has to too. I guess this one-shot was okay. I'm not really sure about it. Tell me your thoughts about it, and I always love constructive criticism._


End file.
